


Even here

by KaitoKuroiRico



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, M/M, Purgatory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-22
Updated: 2012-10-22
Packaged: 2017-11-16 20:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/543650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaitoKuroiRico/pseuds/KaitoKuroiRico
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When there is no hope it's so easy to just give up. But maybe Castiel's wrong and someone still cares about little cute angel with blue eyes ^^ ps and raiting is just for a bit of violence</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even here

**Author's Note:**

> yeah, well...when I wrote it I really thought that they'll show us much scarier purgatory, than just ordinary park with monsters in HUMAN BODIES...so... Now I feel myself like some kind of freaky sadistic person -_- xD

It is hard to be here. There are no emotions, except despair in this cold and dark place. Only ringing silence around… Dean’s running somewhere, fighting, doing something…I can feel it. And I… I just sit pathetically near the seaside. Of course there is no water here…well, not exactly the water in human sense of this word. It’s something more, something darker. 

You know I am amazed by Dean, by humans in generally, even if they mess everything up and find themselves in desperate situations, they still try somehow to fix it. But I’m not that brave. I’m done struggling and trying to make my decision anymore.

It’s really cold, even if I don’t feel much, as an angel, but I still try to wrap myself up in my trenchcoat. Minutes, hours, weeks, months go by. And I’m sitting at the same place, thinking, eating myself with all this thoughts and doubts, and regrets… I try to keep myself awake, don’t let any of the creatures come and get me, while I’m asleep. But even angels have their limits, especially when they are under a big stress for a long time…whole days long. So after two or three months I just close my eyes for a small moment. But when I open them, it seems that moment was big enough. I’m surrounded by dark and angry shadows. And surprisingly enough I’m not scared even for a little bit. After so much time here my not much amount of emotions became even less. I’m prepared for the death but then one of those creatures, the closest to me, coats me and begins to growl loud and terrifying enough. And it’s strange, because the actions of this beast, all his aggression isn’t directed at me. He’s trying to scare others and… protect and save such a foolish useless angel. It’s…unusual, no one really saved me in my life except maybe two or three times. And especially without any serious understandable reason or pure benefit… This dark warrior suddenly jumps a little forward and put its teeth at closest shadow creature’s neck (at least it seems like neck). Then the real fight begins. And what a fight is this. My savior acts with such a passion and reckless much like dogs in those awful fights for human joy or... like mother that try to protect her child. This fight is full of blood, with no mercy and the only result: death. Sharp claws, teeth clack, unnatural scaring noises in darkness, sounds of ripping flesh. And I just sit there and stare at all that mess. 

Some time later everything is over. Luckily for me my savior’s won, other shadows run away or just died and disappeared.

Then this creature turns to me, takes some steps closer and then… pushes his muzzle under my arm. Then he curls his body around me again, and lays his head on my lap. And suddenly I understand who he is. The only one who really cared, the only one who even here wear a silver necklace (like a collar) round his neck.

I sigh and put my hand at the top of his head.

\- I’m so sorry…Balthazar.

Creature just sniffs, squeezes me little bit harder and makes himself more comfortable on my lap.

 

People say true love never dies, I’m not an expert in this question (because I’ve never really felt it myself), but what I know for sure: it never leaves… I pat Balthazar on his head… Big brother, who protects me even here. The only one who really would…The only one, who still cares…and still loves…


End file.
